Village Visit- Feb. 20

On Feb. 20th we finished the final day of the marriage activities, a visit to Abhinav's family's village. We went there to visit some long-time family temples and give some offerings there. Once we were at the village, the entire process took about 10 minutes or less. Our plan was that we would all (Abhi's mom, dad, sister, me and him) take a car out to the village in the morning around 9am, visit the temples and come back before lunch. After some miscommunication with the car driver, we decided to change the time to 11am. 11am came and went, then noon and then 1pm...still no driver. Finally we decided that Abhinav and I would go there there on his motorcycle, which normally wouldn't be so bad, but I had never ridden a motorcycle while wearing a saree...which meant I had to ride on the back sideways (like side-saddle on a horse; both legs on one side, rather than straddling with one leg on each side). The first time I ever saw a woman riding sideways on a bike, I was completely amazed that it could even be done and also at the bravery of Indian women for riding a motorcycle this way. Overall, it isn't very difficult to ride sideways, just make sure you hold on tight!

I didn't get any pictures while we were out in the village, but there were lots of fields growing different crops, lots of sugarcane, rice, and tea (at least I think it was tea). Here are some pictures of me in the saree that was given to me by Abhinav's mama and mami (uncle and aunt in hindi).

 Abhi's mom, me, Abhi's sis.

Abhinav, me, Abhi's sis. :)

Katha- Feb. 19

The day after our marriage a priest came to our home in the morning to prepare for a time of worship (pooja) to give thanks to God for our marriage. Many people, most of whom couldn't attend our marriage, came to the house during this time to participate in the ceremony and to observe and join in lunch afterwards. The pooja took around one hour to complete and afterwards visitors came to meet the new bride of the family (me ;) ).

 During the ceremony.

 Lots of visitors.

Family photo with Abhinav's uncle, aunt, and cousins.

Something interesting: As our worship ceremony was beginning we got a strange visitor to the house...in hindi its called 'kinner.' A type of person resembling both man and woman who came to receive money and give some type of blessing on our marriage. I don't know much about it but apparently these people come to the homes of people with new marriages, or newborn babies and its customary to give large sums of money to these people. If not, they will cause a lot of trouble and say curses on the family. We didn't have any trouble, but I just thought it was something interesting, a type of visitor we definitely don't have in the U.S. after a marriage.

Wedding Ceremony- Feb. 18

Our wedding ceremony was a daytime wedding and began around 10 or 10:30 am. Our ceremony took place in a neighbooring city, about a 1 hour drive away, in a special wedding place called Shaanti Kunj. We had to be at Shaanti Kunj by 9am, meaning we would have to leave the house between 7:30 or 8, which meant I had to wake up by 4am to start getting ready :-O. (Unfortunately we all missed the alarm clock and woke up almost an hour late because of a late night before with the mehendi and had to rush in getting ready). It takes a loooong time to get a bride ready in an Indian marriage.

Abhinav's aunt and mother did everything for me in getting ready, from doing my hair and makeup to wrapping and pinning my saree to helping me use the toilet with all of that material and jewelry on. Abhinav's aunt, uncle, grandma, and cousins were staying with us in the house already and many more family members came to the house in the morning to ride together to Shaanti Kunj. By 8am we were all loaded into cars and on our way.

The wedding ceremony took a little under three hours time and during that time a lot happened. Abhinav, me, family members, and a priest sat around a fire and throughout the ceremony there were different things that had to be done (such as prayer, giving some offering, putting some wood into the fire, and more); some performed by Abhinav and me, some by parents and other family members and some by the priest. Near the beginning of the ceremony there is a part, called Jai Mala, where I had to put a large garland of flowers around Abhinav's head and he also had do the same to me. It means that I accept him as my groom and he also accepts me as his bride. Towards the end of the ceremony we walked around the fire seven times, representing seven promises that Abhinav makes to me. The first four times I was leading, and the next three times Abhinav led me. Then we walked around the fire one time side-by-side.

Next, Abhinav had to take a red powder called sindoor and put it in the part of my hair going to my forehead. In India, you can see that a woman is married by three things: the sindoor in her hair, toe rings on both feet, and her necklace (mangalsutra). So the next part of our marriage was Abhinav giving me my mangalsutra necklace.

After the ceremony we had a lunch reception where I met a lot of his family members, and then afterwards we all returned home. It was a very long and hectic day, but with very good memories.

 Getting ready

 Toe Rings and Anklets.

 Fully ready now, it doesn't even look like me :P

 Hands with mehendi, bangles, and rings.

 Abhinav during the ceremony.

 I'm putting the garland around Abhinav (Jai Mala). Others are throwing flowers on us.

 During the ceremony.

 Abhinav putting sindoor in my hair.

 Abhinav giving me the mangal sutra.

Finished! Abhinav's mom and dad with us.

Mehendi (Henna)- Feb. 17

The night of Feb. 17th a Mehendi man came to the house and put mehendi on Abhinav, me, and other female family members. I had it on my arms up to my elbows and also on my feet, Abhinav put it on his palms and the other ladies had it put on the fronts and backs of their hands. At first it was strange for Abhinav because its normally not for boys but I think he really enjoyed it ;). The whole process took around 4-5 hours to finish all the mehendi and to let it dry.

Its a tradition to put the groom's initials (A) in my mehendi and then he is supposed to try and find it. My initial, J, was also put in his mehendi and I had to find it. People also say that the darker your mehendi ends up, the more your spouse will love you. Abhinav's mehendi was darker than mine...hmmmmm.... ;)

 Close-up of my hands.

 Trying not to touch anything with wet henna :P

 Hands and feet :D

 Abhinav getting his henna.

 Both of us together :)

Abhinav's sister with her henna.

Haldi Haath- Feb. 17

The beginning of the marriage ceremonies started with something called Haldi Haath (Haldi means turmeric and Haath means hand). Both Abhinav and I separately did the same thing. In Haldi Haath there are four different bowls, one filled with turmeric, one filled with henna, one filled with oil and the last one filled with curd. Abhinav and I, at separate times, sit down while different women (family members and friends) touch us with the contents of the four bowls. They take some pieces of grass that are tied together and dip them in the four bowls and then touch our feet, knees, shoulders and head (in that order). For Abhinav each woman did this seven times and for me each woman did this five times. After that different women covered our skin with turmeric (face, arms and feet), and after that we were able to take a shower.We performed this in the morning and then in the afternoon did it again, but this time the women would start at the head and move down to the feet; head, shoulders, knees, feet.

Abhinav and his mom.

Abhinav and his Aunt.

Abhinav's mom rubbing turmeric on him.

Me and Abhinav's Grandma.

Me and Abhinav's sister.

Me with turmeric on my face.

Wedding Preview

Quick Update: I arrived safe and sound to India Feb.10th :) Abhinav picked me up at the airport and then we took a train to his home. Now I'm here in his home with him and his family. Everything is going well, his parents treat me as their own child and his sister as her own sister. Our wedding date is coming really quickly (FEB 18th!) so there's a lot of preparations being made.

The other night we went out to buy the things I'll be wearing on the actual wedding day(saree, bangles, wedding jewelry, nail polish, makeup, sandals, and more) and some other things I will wear after that. Below are some pictures of the material of my saree as well as the bangles I'll wear during the wedding and the the bangles I'll wear after we are married. Picking out which saree, bangles, jewelry, etc. that I wanted was a little bit difficult because there are so many options and shopkeepers and store owners start laying every item they possibly can in front of you until you find something you like.

Along with the saree and bangles, I'm also wearing pounds and pounds of jewelry...a lot of it is special wedding jewelry that is rented and returned to a shop and some is given to me by Abhinav's mom. I got to see all of it today, its really beautiful. 

(my wedding saree, beautiful right?)

                                              (bangles, top for wedding day, bottom for after)

This week Abhinav's family will be coming on the 16th and 17th to start all of the wedding functions. I'm not 100% sure of everything that will be happening but I do know that either the 16th or 17th will be dancing, fun and mehendi (henna). After the 18th there are still things will have to do on the 19th and 20th with some of the family also.

More pictures/updates to come soon. I miss home lots but I'm also looking forward to getting married, I only wish my family could be here to share this time with me.

Love,
Jess